+10 Magical Pants
Rolemaster: No bonuses to armor, Charisma, or even kick damage.It was just a really nice, magical, set of pants. Maybe they were magically stain resistant.
D&D: A great Gondite idea of mine. Enless usess.
Six Flags over Solaris
Battletech: Speaking of too much money. We tried to buy Solaris VII. When they refused, we built a theme park instead.
RoboTech (Palladium): Just the thing to keep the kidnap prone NPC in her place.
Magic dragon slaying sword with underhilt pump action fireball launching wand, Assault Pinstriping, and splash guard.
Rolemaster: A wish spell and too much caffenine
Rifts: Most Dragon Rod weapons are infused with the souls of heros. This one got the soul of a cook. That didn't matter, because the moron character (mine) thought it was a hamster anyway.
The 1-ton Hovertank
Battletech: Feared by all GMs. No weapons, No Armor. Just a ground vehicle that can do Mach and can keep up with fighter aircraft.
Cooking Pot of Doom
Ironclaw: a normal cooking pot, tied to a rope and used as a ranged weapon. For some reason it was deadly accurate.
Toad of Doom
D&D: A wizard's Familiar gets half of the Wizard's hit points and uses the Wizard's base attacks (if higher). Now imagine a 21 level fighter taking a single level of Wizard.
Leaping Luchedor Zombies
Mutants & Masterminds: The creative undead took a page from Mexican Wrestlers and learned to leap and roll in order to better fight the group of flying heros. Luchedor Zombies... I guess that
is why they are called 'Mad Scientist'. I mean, he could have just given his undead hordes a couple of ladders, but I guess that wouldn't have had the flair.
Wand of Wonderbra
D&D: Poof! It lifts and seperates.
Mace of Slack-jawed Drooling.
D&D: a magic mace. It wasn't cursed, but the user couldn't roll above a 3 on a D20.
A 'Trapper Keeper' with Power Rangers on the cover, but the Power Rangers are Chickens.
D&D: The spell book for the comic relief Wizard (At least as imagined by the rest of the party).
A semi-trained Puffin-Dingo and a Puffin-Dingo Training Mallet.
Sluggy Freelance RPG: mix with just a spritz of a negative "Handle/Train Animal" role. Fun for the whole family. Well at least the ones that aren't eaten.
D&D: Its a magical animal figurine, like in the D&D DMG, except it's Gamera, the jet powered war turtle. Too bad it was only war horse size.
+30 magical, Eog Fishinghooks
Rolemaster: Really good Fishing hooks. Things like this should clue you in, as a gamemaster, that your party has too much money.
D&D: Specially trained attack roosters to guard my temple when I'm away.
55 Ton, Mobile Diner
Battletech: Stripped down war tank. 6 Tons of Chrome, 2 Tons of sound system and 1.5 tons of ice cream.
Rod of Pants Destruction
Ravenloft (D&D): Intelligent magical item with a temper.
Flaming Garden Weasel
WoD: The best all around impliment for fighting or tilling your garden, imbued by a sorcerer.
Shriner Car and Fez
Rifts: The ultimate ride for an 7 ft tall feline death machine.
Ring of See Illusions
D&D: Cursed item, Note it doesn't say see through Illusion.
Ballista Bolts of Healing
D&D: About the only time when it is good to get hit by a Ballista. (Thunk)"Argh... Wait, I'm healed...But stuck to the ground."
Boddice (cleavage) of Holding
D&D: The first thing that the female character (played by a female gamer) does when she gets a portable hole is slip it into her blouse/boddice. She likes to freak NPCs, player characters and even
eavesdropping passers-by when she produces or hides large items from or into her cleavage.
Masterwork Sledgehammer Lockpicks
D&D: At the beginning of the game we had no theives that could pick locks, so the fighter had a masterwork sledgehammer. Eventually it was supposed to have a knock spell put on it. Due to the game situations
Endless Flame was put on it, so it became the flaming masterwork sledgehammer lockpick. The flame gave of light but no heat, so the fighter would stick it under his chin and do "Flaming head" gags.
Vorpal Food Processor
D&D: Can process anything. I just love Dragon Salad Sandwitches.
Wall of Farce
D&D: Oh, the joys of bad handwriting.
Bigby's Pimpin' Backhand
D&D: Somatic Component is three snaps.
Prismatic Nail polish
D&D: Your nails will be different colored and allow you un-armed attacks to have the effect of prismatic ray.